"Since I could hold my head up high. And it's been a while, since I could stand on my own two feet again. But everything I can remember, as fucked up as it all may seem. The consequences that I've rendered, I've stretched myself beyond my means.."
~"It's been a while" -Staind

^lol It's been a while since I've actually heard this song. :3

Anyways, I just got way off topic here. All I meant to say was it's been a while since I'd updated my journal. Hence the unnecessary prologue to my most recent entry.

So, to bring you up to speed (Not that it matters, as anyone who might actually read this already knows what's going on, but insomnia is being especially unkind to me tonight, so I'm writing it anyway, dangit), I'm transferring schools. Yes, I know, I've been so stubborn and adamant about staying at Rivier, but I think this might be a good change for me. This way I'll be able to afford school better, and, well...I guess it'll be good to slow things down a bit. Sure, I guess I'll miss the place, after all it had a marvelous Biology program and a pretty decent campus, not to mention their library was pretty spiffy, but I've taken a look at my new school *knock on wood!!* and I kind of like it there. It suits me. I just hope I'm really making the right decision. Sometimes I feel like I'm following the footsteps of my Aunt. She went to a lot of different schools trying to figure out what she wanted to be when she was my age and a bit older. But who's to say that's a bad thing, really?

I'm going to reinvent myself. I don't really know why, but I just kind of feel like I have this need to change it up a bit. I like to experiment with my image and figure out what fits me the best, I guess. For years now I've struggled with who I am. To this day I still don't know. I've been sort of lost for a while, I guess. There are so many sides to me, I don't know what to pick...or what's right. Maybe there's a way I can mesh everything together? I don't really know. This probably doesn't make any sense. To be honest, it doesn't make much sense to me, either.

Anyways, I'm thinking I'm gonna chop most of my hair off and give it to Pantene, a charity function my High School is a part of. And then I'm going to do something crazy with it. I'm not gonna give it away just yet, it's gonna be a surprise. ;D And then I think I might switch up the way I dress, just a little. And I think I just might try this new thing, where I'm not afraid to be myself regardless of where I am, no matter how weird someone might think that is. Because, really, if you're not yourself, no one will ever like you for who you really are.

I think transferring will help me on my silly little mission for reinvention. I'm taking a hiatus from any sort of designated major to see if there's something else out there for me. And speaking of which, I'm on a MAJOR hiatus from boys and relationships. You see, I'm sort of all over the place right now, and I really need to get my shizz together before I can deal with any of that garbage. Sorry boys, I know you must be SO disappointed. *dripping in sarcasm* P hahaha

And I have Deidara-Clone to thank for all of this. I feel like now I can finally get back on track. I don't know, there's just something that feels right about this. Sure I have some doubts, but I have doubts about everything. Every breath I take I have doubts about. Anyways, if you're reading this, Thank you. You've done so much for me, and I can't thank you enough. You've always been there for me, and I want you to know that I'm here for you, always. <3 Thanks a million, I love ya! D <3

I think I've written a sufficient amount. Hope you all are well, and if I go idle from my journal-updating again, I wish you all a Happy Spanksgiving (lol). :]

"Why must I feel this way? Just make it go away. Just one more peaceful day...
And it's been a while, since I could look at myself straight. But everything I can't remember, as fucked up as it may seem, I know it's me..."

Take care, and God Bless!